Dr. Mark L. Knapp was made famous for his renowned relationship
model, which theoretically purposes ten stages of relational growth and/or
termination. According to this theory, all interpersonal relationships fall within
the steps of this theoretical model. It has been a crucial key for defining the
“routes” in which interpersonal relationships both develop and become cohesive,
or eventually terminate. It is a basic blueprint, which illuminates 5 varied
steps on both sides of this ideology.
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These steps are separated into two different stages, “coming
together” or “coming apart”, these are then intersected by the intertwined stage
of “relational maintenance”, or the interconnected state of interrelated conservation
and preservation. These divisions are defined as: initiation, experimenting, intensifying,
integrating, and bonding this is where Dr. Knapp’s model transitions into the “relational
maintenance” interval. Progressing forward, through this phase, we cross into the
realm of “coming apart”. Likewise, this is dissected into five primary stages,
which are signified as differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding,
and finally terminating. When we apply this methodology to our own intertwining
connections (relationships), we can clearly lay out the framework by which these
relationships “grow” and “deteriorate”.
I can apply all such listed steps to a plethora of
relationships, of which I have personally had the chance to partake,
however, there is one such relationship here worth noting. It is that of my
current relational interactions with my significant other/spouse. I
have had the pleasure of knowing this individual for 18+ years and have been
romantically associated with them for just over 17 of those years. Our affairs
of the heart began at the initiation
stage, with a great deal of transpiring awkward small talk, most of which was through
the medium of I.M., text, and social media postings. I say awkwardly, due to the fact
that these conversations did not flow with ease, we both wanted to “make an
impression” with one another, so our communication was guarded and/or scripted
at best.
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Have you ever been so infatuated with an individual that you
rehearse hypothetical conversations before they ever take place? I would
constantly rehash and go over my “lines” of this tentative exchange, for days
before the communication was actually initiated. I practiced these trials so
many times, that by the time the actual exchange took place, I was left
sounding incoherent and perhaps somewhat robotic in the current situation. This
eventually progressed through all the corresponding stages/phases of Dr. Knapp’s
“coming together” Relationship model.
After the course of so many years, my wife and I found
ourselves firmly standing on the precipice of the differentiating stage of “coming
apart”. Through the passage of time and various life circumstances i.e.,
vocations, education, etc., we realized that we were clearly arriving at the
dimension of differentiating (coming apart). We found ourselves separated for
extended frequencies of time due to these aforementioned responsibilities, and
it was stressing and putting undue strains on our committed coalition.
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I was
bound to my educational and professional pursuits and my “better half” would find
herself wandering farther from home on 5–8-hour shopping excursions. The more that
I became enthralled in my commitments, the stronger my wife’s shopping
compulsion took hold. If we had let these proceedings progress, this rough
stage of our relationship would have eventually proceeded continually through
the downward spiral of eventual relational dissolution.
We collectively ascertained that this was not the path in
which we wanted our relationship to progress. We made legitimate efforts to
restructure our relationship, so we could effectively circumvent the
eventuality of relationship termination. Through our efforts, we firmly arrived
back at the bonding stage of relational “coming together”.
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We made a firm
resolution with one another to finally “tie the knot” and make our bond “more” significant,
with legally binding finalization. We let go of any and all conflicting
interests and beheld one another, once again much like we had in our previous
years when we were much younger and headed in the direction of relational
progression/enhancement. |
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This was the most beautiful experience of my life, as it securely
reaffirmed our connective bond with one another. If we had not had the foresight
to recognize that we were headed into a relational catastrophe, as noted in Dr.
Knapp’s Relational Model, I would not find myself in this secure relational
state today. Much water has since “flowed” under the proverbial bridge of our
relationship, and we are now more secure as a couple than ever before.
Currently, we are able to maintain our relationship with the wonders of technological
communication e.g., FaceTime, texts, emails, etc. These hi-tech tele-communicative channels have aided our multidecadal romantically committed bond,
and further strengthened our interconnectedness. When these means of communication
are properly applied, relationships can be established/grow/flourish, much the same
as face-to-face versions of these terms. If it were not for the advent
of the telecommunications era, much of our established relationships would
indeed suffer. Today, we are able to connect with one another at the speed of
light over great distances, and spatial separations. We can maintain our
relations with whom we choose, and at our leisure and convenience. This really
provides our modern interpersonal relations a huge “leg up” on those of the
past. Our feelings/sentiments/wishes/worries/fears are efficiently/effectively
communicated at will across these great divides. I ponder the difficulty of the
long-distance relationship a mere half-century ago when all communique would
have been relegated to actual phone calls and/or “snail mail”. A telephone call
from the past would have to account for the variations in individual schedules,
personal availability, service quality, etc. We are afforded a great luxury in
the forms of our modern communication, as we can actively communicate at will.
In summation, I highly recommend anyone who is concerned with the status of our
interpersonal relationships, to check out the inner workings of Dr. Mark Knapp’s
Relationship Model here.https://www.communicationtheory.org/knapps-relationship-model/ Sources Cited:
Kelley, D. (30th October 2013). Knapp's Relationship Model. Prezi.com
Communication Theory.org (Accessed 16th October 2022). Knapp's Relationship Model. Communication Models, Interpersonl Communication, Psychology, Behavioral and Social Science. Communicationtheory.org.
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